You Were Always Going to Be a Field Agent (5 Stickers)

you know we're cool. we know we're cool. the problem is the general public remains completely, tragically, almost impressively unaware of our existence. this is not acceptable. we've thought about it and decided it's your problem now.

here's how this works. five dollars. five gas station sushi stickers. designs are curated by us. we will choose well. we always choose well. you already know this. you take these stickers and you place them somewhere that matters. somewhere that will be seen. somewhere that makes a stranger stop and think "what is that and why do I feel like I've always known it."

nearby, a small gnome will be standing very still. he has been there for a while. he is not sure how long. he is thinking about the eye on the envelope he received last week and why he feels like it knows something about him specifically. he does not have an order number. this is his only regret.

you document this. you send us the photo. you send us your order number. you do not explain yourself. you simply send it.

we will respond by sending you free stickers and free goodies worth considerably more than the five dollars you spent. we will also cover shipping because we are not monsters. we are simply a sticker brand with an agenda and a very specific vision for how the next few months are going to go.

the public must become aware. this is a group effort now. you are a field agent. you were always going to be a field agent. you just didn't know it yet.

the gnome already knew.

tag us on insta or tiktok. Throw us a skeet on bsky.

five bucks. go.